So yes, I am now engaged to the most handsome, amazing, loving guy on planet Earth. But it was definitely a struggle for me to get to this point. There were many, many nights spent wondering if i'd ever meet anyone. So, let me give you the back story.

I went to college at Ole Miss. A school that is chock full of gorgeous girls. It's home to 3 Miss Americas. How can you compete with that?! My entire family is from Mississippi, and I thought 'duh i'll fit right in.' But I sort of didn't. These girls were bred to marry right out of college and start a family from the moment they say "I Do", and I wanted that. I wanted it BAD. But, I didn't get it. This made for countless long night talks to my best friend Lauren on why guys were literally the dumbest most awful things, and pondering our inevitable spinsterhood. We were 22 years old. 

Instead of leaving college a strong I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T woman, I left feeling defeated. I had graduated college and not met the man I was going to marry. So, my life might as well be over. 

I moved to New Orleans after graduation-  I had always told myself I was going to live there, so

that's what I did. A new scene with new people, there must be a guy that wants to date me there! I had my first apartment all to myself, Lauren lived 10 minutes away and I lived in a huge city that had endless things to do. So, why wasn't I happy? In my head, I was unhappy because I was single, with no romantic prospects anywhere. I just knew that if I had a boyfriend, I would feel complete. The world would be a brighter place, and everything would be just. perfect. But, again, no boyfriend was to be found.  I watched numerous friends meet and eventually get engaged to their significant others, and they made it look so easy. So why was it so hard for me? 

 Each day I went to work, came  home, rinsed and repeated. I  found myself going to run in  Audubon Park because there might be a single guy that would spot me  running,  track me down and marry me. I went to the  grocery store, because naturally a  man would see me in the produce aisle and propose marriage right there.

I was doing any and  everything in my life because there  might be a man there that wanted  to date and eventually marry me.

Until one day, I woke up and said enough. I applied for and was hired for a job back home in Pensacola, and I left New Orleans in my rear view mirror. I got a dog, stopped going out as much, started reading self-improvement books, and dammit, I sort of liked who I was becoming. I'd finally decided that I was going to live my life for myself, and if that meant getting 3 more dogs and never getting married, that was God's plan and I was gonna go with it. I stopped doing things solely to meet a guy. 

I was finally coming in to my own, and becoming the person I was meant to be. I had actually learned to be the independent woman that I'd always thought I could be, and it was fun. Then, I met Brad, and the rest is history. 

I hate that society makes young girls feel like they are less than if they don't have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, when it's already such a fragile stage in life to begin with.  But, being single all of that time allowed me to build a relationship with myself, and figure out what I did and didn't want, not only in life, but in a partner. For that, I feel truly lucky. There are many married (young and old) women who have no idea who they are as a person, because they have been defined by the relationships they're in. I believe a major component that allows Brad and I to have such an effortless relationship is that I know who I am as a woman. I am not an insecure 22 year old anymore. I'm on my way to 29, and feeling more confident each day. I firmly believe God was working on me during those tough years and making sure I was in the exact place I needed to be before Brad came in to my life.